Thursday, July 25, 2013

You can be different

On the bus -

Boy - (Pointing at ad with photo of a family) Mommy! I want to be like that!
Mom - We are, honey! We are like that!
Boy - But they are all smiling!
Mom - We smile too! We are happy!
Boy - But there is a dad. There is a dad in the photo.
Mom - You can be different from that and be just as happy. We can take a photo with uncle Charlie.

Moms tend to be right, kid.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Contortionist



I'm on a very crowded bus. I get to talking to the guy crammed next to me. His name is Xzisto and he's a vegan singer hip hop dancer contortionist who works in circus burlesque acts. His troupe is called Tourette's without Regrets. 

Just when I thought I couldn't love San Francisco any more.

Not ready



On bus:
Girl 1: If he says he's not ready to move in, he's not that into you.
Girl 2: what if he's just not ready to move in?
Me: There's a way to tell.
Girl 2: Tell!
Me: Is he there for you in other ways?
Girl 2: yes.
Me: I know you want him to want to move in. But are you ready to move in?
Girl 2: hmmm.
Me: Are you into him, yet think you should wait a bit?
Girl 2: yes.
Me: Then so is he.

And that is how I was hugged by a stranger on the bus.

All wrong




The guy next to me is swaying wildly to the music on his headphones and sipping rum spiked coconut water. 

Suddenly I realize I've got it all wrong. 

I mean, I'm just riding a bus home after a long day at work. He's partying on a tropical island.

Dinner




The woman next to me is carrying two bags full of colorful, spicy, bright ingredients. Quick - how I can persuade a stranger on the bus to have me over for dinner?

Eloquence



This morning I asked the driver of my shuttle if he wanted to see my "thingy". I meant "bus pass" but judging from his enthusiastic look he completely misunderstood me. 

One must strive for eloquence, even early in the morning.