Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Why is finding a soul mate so hard?

Anais Nin said "we have been poisoned by fairy tales." 

"Soul mate" is a romantic notion that contributes to us developing unrealistic expectations. 

There are many many wonderful people out there who would make a great significant other, after which you really have to work on yourself and your own baggage to make the relationship something worthy of a romance novel. 

Soul mates are not found. They are created.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015


His whole life my dad dreamed of grandchildren. By the time his first was born he already had early symptoms of dementia.
He would have been more present had he not been busy desperately fighting to not come undone.
I remember you healthy: powerful, supportive, dictatorial
I remember you sick: repetitive, disoriented, lonely.
I loved you just the same.
I remember you in your entirety. 
I remember you.

Monday, August 24, 2015

The perfect family.

Boyfriend, my niece, my nephew and I are standing in line for ice cream. We've had a full day so everyone is subdued. I lean over and give Boyfriend a smooch.

A woman walks up to me.

"I admire you so much" she says. "You have the most beautiful family. Your kids are so well behaved. You and your husband look blissful. Please tell me your secret."

"Well" I say. "This man here is not my husband. And these are not my kids. We just borrowed them."

"OH THANK GOD" she says and walks away.

The perfect family. It doesn't exist.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Introvert at work

Confessions of a closet introvert:
Robin: I want to show you a deck and get your thoughts on it. Can we sit side by side and go through the slides?
Me: Can you send me the deck so I can read it and think about it and use the “comment” tool to add my thoughts?

Saturday, August 15, 2015


Boyfriend is meeting my dad for the first time. They’re drinking from a bottle of Japanese Whiskey Boyfriend purveyed for the occasion.

Boyfriend: What was it like to raise four kids?
Dad: They get sick and argue and don’t come home when they say they will and you worry constantly. It’s not for the faint of heart.
Boyfriend: Tell me about Dushka. What was she like?
“Andrew.” My Dad says, eyes shining. “Dushka was perfect”.

My Dad died 8 months ago today. While the world reminds me daily of my flaws and shortcomings, this is the diamond – resplendent, indestructible - my father left lodged in the center of my heart.