Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Extroverted dreams

Confessions of a closet introvert: we briefly dream extroverted dreams.
Me: To properly celebrate my next birthday I'm going to throw an epic party with Eighties music. Let's start assembling a list of who should come!
Boyfriend: You hate parties.
Me: You make an excellent point.
Boyfriend: So, are you sure you want to work on a list of who to invite?
Me: to properly celebrate my next birthday I want to travel to a remote, uninhabited location.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Please no

Confessions of a closet introvert:
Whenever we have plans, a version of the following conversation takes place:
Me: Oh no. I don’t feel like it.
Boyfriend: Let’s go! It will be fun!
Me: Ugh, no. No. I don’t want to.
Boyfriend: Come on! You’ll enjoy seeing everyone!
Me: No no no no please no
Boyfriend: OK. Would you like to stay home and I’ll go?
Me: Yes. Yes! But no. I can’t. We already confirmed. Why did we confirm? Why why why?
Boyfriend drives. I pout. I enjoy seeing everyone.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Why is finding a soul mate so hard?

Anais Nin said "we have been poisoned by fairy tales." 

"Soul mate" is a romantic notion that contributes to us developing unrealistic expectations. 

There are many many wonderful people out there who would make a great significant other, after which you really have to work on yourself and your own baggage to make the relationship something worthy of a romance novel. 

Soul mates are not found. They are created.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015


His whole life my dad dreamed of grandchildren. By the time his first was born he already had early symptoms of dementia.
He would have been more present had he not been busy desperately fighting to not come undone.
I remember you healthy: powerful, supportive, dictatorial
I remember you sick: repetitive, disoriented, lonely.
I loved you just the same.
I remember you in your entirety. 
I remember you.

Monday, August 24, 2015

The perfect family.

Boyfriend, my niece, my nephew and I are standing in line for ice cream. We've had a full day so everyone is subdued. I lean over and give Boyfriend a smooch.

A woman walks up to me.

"I admire you so much" she says. "You have the most beautiful family. Your kids are so well behaved. You and your husband look blissful. Please tell me your secret."

"Well" I say. "This man here is not my husband. And these are not my kids. We just borrowed them."

"OH THANK GOD" she says and walks away.

The perfect family. It doesn't exist.