tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72578827007881093582024-03-13T14:20:43.399-07:00Amateur<b>An inexpert, inexperienced, un-authoritative, enamored view of life.</b>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.comBlogger471125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-63239196386180133062015-12-09T10:44:00.002-08:002015-12-09T14:33:55.155-08:00Thank you, Ruder Finn!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PDONwOJWAG4/Vmh-5YnG_pI/AAAAAAAAB3A/oepnqi0ZMyU/s1600/iuMZ2WV24.ro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PDONwOJWAG4/Vmh-5YnG_pI/AAAAAAAAB3A/oepnqi0ZMyU/s320/iuMZ2WV24.ro.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><span id="goog_1883199147"></span><span id="goog_1883199148"></span><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm leaving Ruder Finn because I need time off.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">For a few months before deciding I was convinced I didn't know what I wanted to do next, but it turns out I do.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">What I want is to sit at my dining room table with a cup of coffee on a Tuesday morning without feeling like I need to treat it like a shooter.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I want to move through a day that isn't overbooked to saunter and make space for serendipity.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I want to stay up late writing without worrying that I need to be at work early the next day.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I want to see what it's like to not have to enter a time sheet.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I want to loiter. Not forever. Just for a little while.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">My last day at Ruder Finn will be January 4th.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I am so very satisfied with the last three years. I woke up one day working alone on a laptop out of my apartment; now Ruder Finn has a team in San Francisco that is level-headed, intelligent, hungry and inspiring. I love them so much.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Maybe we'll FaceTime every morning while I sip my coffee.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The people who work at Ruder Finn are first rate. While my dad was sick and I tried to both be there for him and run an office, I heard nothing but "you do what you need to do". Feeling torn is a terrible thing and I never did. What a gift.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">While my systems get refreshed I will write. And do yoga. And do executive coaching: media and presentation training, assisting people in articulating what they want to say about themselves, their companies, their vision, their brand.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">If you know anyone who needs media coaching or presentation training, reach out. (If you don't, reach out anyway.)</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course leaving my job with no concrete plans is scary. Leaving a perfectly good company to loaf, to dabble, to fritter my mornings away can be considered crazy.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">But I know what I would tell you if you were in the same situation and came to me for advice.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Honey. It would be crazy not to.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">------</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Email: dushka_zapata@hotmail.com</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Twitter: @DushkaAmateur</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Facebook: </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/dushka.zapata" style="background-color: white; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/dushka.zapata</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">LinkedIn: </span><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/dushka" style="background-color: white; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/dushka</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Quora: </span><a href="https://www.quora.com/profile/Dushka-Zapata" style="background-color: white; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" target="_blank">https://www.quora.com/profile/Dushka-Zapata</a></span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-70215542901032914042015-09-08T11:20:00.001-07:002015-09-08T11:20:33.587-07:00Extroverted dreams<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b39M3DHzWcU/Ve8m4yK7UQI/AAAAAAAAB2Y/76rvB_LkVQU/s1600/2014-08-28_Whos-Birthday-is-it-anyway_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b39M3DHzWcU/Ve8m4yK7UQI/AAAAAAAAB2Y/76rvB_LkVQU/s320/2014-08-28_Whos-Birthday-is-it-anyway_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Confessions of a closet introvert: we briefly dream extroverted dreams.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: To properly celebrate my next birthday I'm going to throw an epic party with Eighties music. Let's start assembling a list of who should come!<br />Boyfriend: You hate parties.<br />Me: You make an excellent point.<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />Boyfriend: So, are you sure you want to work on a list of who to invite?<br />Me: to properly celebrate my next birthday I want to travel to a remote, uninhabited location.</span></div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-38225335832308694112015-09-04T10:58:00.001-07:002015-09-04T10:58:18.963-07:00Is there such a thing as buying too many books?<span class="quora-content-embed" data-name="Is-there-such-a-thing-as-buying-too-many-books/answer/Dushka-Zapata">Read <a class="quora-content-link" data-embed="qdpeoqp" data-height="250" data-id="15271685" data-key="425a2f8655a7340085a19ccd14c39d09" data-type="answer" data-width="559" href="http://www.quora.com/Is-there-such-a-thing-as-buying-too-many-books/answer/Dushka-Zapata" load-full-answer="False"><a href="http://www.quora.com/Dushka-Zapata">Dushka Zapata</a>'s <a href="https://www.blogger.com/Is-there-such-a-thing-as-buying-too-many-books#ans15271685">answer</a> to <a href="https://www.blogger.com/Is-there-such-a-thing-as-buying-too-many-books" ref="canonical">Is there such a thing as 'buying too many books'?</a></a> on <a href="http://www.quora.com/">Quora</a><script src="http://www.quora.com/widgets/content" type="text/javascript"></script></span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-37209747136632965382015-09-03T15:10:00.001-07:002015-09-03T15:10:13.331-07:00Please no<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6MKaNV2_c6Y/VejE_hTeTOI/AAAAAAAAB2E/ZBNsZRShRAs/s1600/Custom-Balloon-design-tool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6MKaNV2_c6Y/VejE_hTeTOI/AAAAAAAAB2E/ZBNsZRShRAs/s320/Custom-Balloon-design-tool.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Confessions of a closet introvert:</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Whenever we have plans, a version of the following conversation takes place:<br />Me: Oh no. I don’t feel like it.<br />Boyfriend: Let’s go! It will be fun!<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />Me: Ugh, no. No. I don’t want to.<br />Boyfriend: Come on! You’ll enjoy seeing everyone!<br />Me: No no no no please no<br />Boyfriend: OK. Would you like to stay home and I’ll go?<br />Me: Yes. Yes! But no. I can’t. We already confirmed. Why did we confirm? Why why why?</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
Boyfriend drives. I pout. I enjoy seeing everyone.</div>
</div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-86316364899074746522015-08-26T15:10:00.001-07:002015-08-26T15:10:51.619-07:00Why is finding a soul mate so hard?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gxFTY6yIg88/Vd45XKso6qI/AAAAAAAAB1o/l9bSZ7B5RiA/s1600/images.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gxFTY6yIg88/Vd45XKso6qI/AAAAAAAAB1o/l9bSZ7B5RiA/s1600/images.png" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Anais Nin said </span><i style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">"we have been poisoned by fairy tales." </i><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">"Soul mate" is a romantic notion that contributes </span><b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">to us developing unrealistic expectations. </b><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">There are many many wonderful people out there who would make a great significant other, after which </span><b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><i>you really have to work on yourself and your own baggage</i></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"> to make the relationship something worthy of a romance novel. </span><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Soul mates are not found. They are created.</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-72876918445992507862015-08-25T21:16:00.001-07:002015-08-25T21:16:12.260-07:00Grandchildren<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k2-IgQC6ZRc/Vd09fKdH0-I/AAAAAAAAB1Y/_bQprt9h7zU/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k2-IgQC6ZRc/Vd09fKdH0-I/AAAAAAAAB1Y/_bQprt9h7zU/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His whole life my dad dreamed of grandchildren. By the time his first was born he already had early symptoms of dementia.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He would have been more present had he not been busy desperately fighting to not come undone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember you healthy: powerful, supportive, dictatorial</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember you sick: repetitive, disoriented, lonely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I loved you just the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember you in your entirety. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember you.</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-91577118202187739052015-08-24T19:59:00.004-07:002015-08-24T19:59:46.451-07:00The perfect family.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yQnDW-osR80/VdvaFZnuTpI/AAAAAAAAB1E/aqGUI69fzFQ/s1600/11953034_10153553436568142_4196926897658777364_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yQnDW-osR80/VdvaFZnuTpI/AAAAAAAAB1E/aqGUI69fzFQ/s320/11953034_10153553436568142_4196926897658777364_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0">Boyfriend, my niece, my nephew and I are standing in line for ice cream. We've had a full day so everyone is subdued. I lean over and give Boyfriend a smooch.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><br />A woman walks up to me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><br />"I admire you so much" she says. "You have the most beautiful family. Your kids are so well behaved. You and your husband look blissful. Please tell me your secret."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><br />"Well" I say. "This man here is not my husband. And these are not my kids. We just borrowed them."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><br />"OH THANK GOD" she says and walks away.<br /><br />The perfect family. It doesn't exist.</span><span class="fbPhotoTagList" id="fbPhotoSnowliftTagList" style="color: #141823; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><span class="fcg" style="color: #9197a3;"> </span></span></span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-88149731046988645382015-08-22T08:51:00.002-07:002015-08-22T08:51:37.826-07:00The meaning of life<span class="quora-content-embed" data-name="What-is-the-meaning-of-life-the-universe-and-everything-2/answer/Dushka-Zapata">Read <a class="quora-content-link" data-embed="qdpeoqp" data-height="250" data-id="14919716" data-key="4e6e7ba199655e996c36d1a46a38b3b2" data-type="answer" data-width="559" href="http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-meaning-of-life-the-universe-and-everything-2/answer/Dushka-Zapata" load-full-answer="False"><a href="http://www.quora.com/Dushka-Zapata">Dushka Zapata</a>'s <a href="https://www.blogger.com/What-is-the-meaning-of-life-the-universe-and-everything-2#ans14919716">answer</a> to <a href="https://www.blogger.com/What-is-the-meaning-of-life-the-universe-and-everything-2" ref="canonical">What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?</a></a> on <a href="http://www.quora.com/">Quora</a><script src="http://www.quora.com/widgets/content" type="text/javascript"></script></span><br />
<br />Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-77982077974047417902015-08-20T14:42:00.001-07:002015-08-20T14:42:38.130-07:00Introvert at work<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cq1jdaa9ufk/VdZJn4ejQdI/AAAAAAAAB0o/Pxwa5v-E9EM/s1600/img-filewin--2-Microsoft-PowerPoint.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cq1jdaa9ufk/VdZJn4ejQdI/AAAAAAAAB0o/Pxwa5v-E9EM/s320/img-filewin--2-Microsoft-PowerPoint.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Confessions of a closet introvert:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robin: I want to show you a deck and get your thoughts on it. Can we sit side by side and go through the slides?<br /> Me: Can you send me the deck so I can read it and think about it and use the “comment” tool to add my thoughts?</span><br />
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-54694833300150318922015-08-18T14:32:00.000-07:002015-08-18T14:32:02.743-07:00What's the best thing a person can do in their life?<span class="quora-content-embed" data-name="Life/What-is-the-best-thing-a-person-can-do-in-their-life/answer/Dushka-Zapata">Read <a class="quora-content-link" data-embed="qdpeoqp" data-height="250" data-id="14866793" data-key="6893b51f054c2057cc520b1ebc36b5dc" data-type="answer" data-width="559" href="http://www.quora.com/Life/What-is-the-best-thing-a-person-can-do-in-their-life/answer/Dushka-Zapata" load-full-answer="False"><a href="http://www.quora.com/Dushka-Zapata">Dushka Zapata</a>'s <a href="https://www.blogger.com/Life/What-is-the-best-thing-a-person-can-do-in-their-life#ans14866793">answer</a> to <a href="https://www.blogger.com/Life/What-is-the-best-thing-a-person-can-do-in-their-life" ref="canonical">What is the best thing a person can do in their life?</a></a> on <a href="http://www.quora.com/">Quora</a><script src="http://www.quora.com/widgets/content" type="text/javascript"></script></span><br />
<br />Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-15956838347769319142015-08-15T13:53:00.001-07:002015-08-15T13:53:21.087-07:00Diamond<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-unRdhxlUEsA/Vc-msPFJOfI/AAAAAAAAB0U/7CHrQZFd_iA/s1600/BN-GK299_2LYONS_P_20150113085835.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-unRdhxlUEsA/Vc-msPFJOfI/AAAAAAAAB0U/7CHrQZFd_iA/s320/BN-GK299_2LYONS_P_20150113085835.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Boyfriend is meeting my dad for the first time. They’re drinking from a bottle of Japanese Whiskey Boyfriend purveyed for the occasion.<br /><br />Boyfriend: What was it like to raise four kids?<br />Dad: They get sick and argue and don’t come home when they say they will and you worry constantly. It’s not for the faint of heart.<br />Boyfriend: Tell me about Dushka. What was she like?<br /> “Andrew.” My Dad says, eyes shining. “Dushka was perfect”.<br /><br />My Dad died 8 months ago today. While the world reminds me daily of my flaws and shortcomings, this is the diamond – resplendent, indestructible - my father left lodged in the center of my heart. </span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-19371932752681523722015-08-13T11:20:00.001-07:002015-08-13T11:20:41.761-07:00Sit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IzdPVg7KbF4/Vczf6aGB7tI/AAAAAAAAB0A/eAZfL4sOqHo/s1600/bus-hand-strap-with-spool1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IzdPVg7KbF4/Vczf6aGB7tI/AAAAAAAAB0A/eAZfL4sOqHo/s320/bus-hand-strap-with-spool1.jpg" width="295" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Setting: early evening. Crowded bus.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> A woman sitting turns to a guy standing.<br /> Her: Excuse me, would you like to sit here?<br /> Him: Whah? Oh, no thank you.<br /> Her: I figured you could take my seat and I could sit on your lap.<br /> They regard each other for a second.<br /> Him: Sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I learn so much taking public transport.</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-36043263289277178982015-08-13T11:18:00.001-07:002015-08-13T11:18:25.260-07:00Go for it<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P7e4DQwsm2s/VczfYys_5jI/AAAAAAAABz4/cVeDlgQPmdk/s1600/sunset-jump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P7e4DQwsm2s/VczfYys_5jI/AAAAAAAABz4/cVeDlgQPmdk/s320/sunset-jump.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><br />While I understand there is virtue in patience I don’t think it’s necessarily true that good things come to those who wait. Good things come to those who go for it.</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-80059512586761411112015-08-07T10:57:00.004-07:002015-08-07T11:04:46.384-07:00No plans<ol class="_2t4u clearfix" data-pnref="story" data-referrer="pagelet_timeline_recent_ocm" id="u_jsonp_5_f_story"><div class="_5pcb _4b0l">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w_U80Q4QJjI/VcTxiZfQyXI/AAAAAAAABzg/XA0910YNHkY/s1600/10995932_10153113359133142_3022052079695427703_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w_U80Q4QJjI/VcTxiZfQyXI/AAAAAAAABzg/XA0910YNHkY/s320/10995932_10153113359133142_3022052079695427703_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="_5pcb _4b0l">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Confessions of a closet introvert:</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Barista: do you have any awesome plans for the weekend?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: YES.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Barista: What will you be doing?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Nothing.</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-46402043964818163782015-08-05T09:32:00.000-07:002015-08-05T09:32:03.413-07:00Defying Stephen King<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SKKlcOoxY_Q/VcI6eYAJaZI/AAAAAAAABzQ/w28w5Q8TIzQ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SKKlcOoxY_Q/VcI6eYAJaZI/AAAAAAAABzQ/w28w5Q8TIzQ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked into class on my first day of college feeling edgy and disoriented
to find Carla sitting on the other side of the room, under the window. She
looked right at me and flashed me a smile. More than feeling like she was
greeting a stranger I felt like she was recognizing someone she had always
known and was happy to see. I walked over and sat next to her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Her company was easy; she laughed often and loudly. We defined loyalty
similarly, and agreed on what we felt was most important, even as that evolved.
From that day, she set up permanent residence in my heart and now, 25 years
later, still firmly holds the title of Best Friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12”,
wrote Stephen King in Stand by Me. I asked my Dad if this could possibly be true.
He nodded. “Life gets in the way” he said. “You have less time and other
priorities.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I won’t be that kind of adult, I vowed. I don’t want to ever become a
person who feels she doesn’t have time for friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And then I got busy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I got picky too. Arriving at a restaurant on time or an ability to make
and stick to agreed upon commitments became a critical requirement. If I didn’t
have time, I definitely did not have time for flaky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In my late twenties and thirties my life revolved around moving to a new
country, working in a demanding, full time job that involved building teams,
and being a good wife. I didn’t have time for much else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And then I got a divorce. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I told my friend Amit that the hardest thing as a single woman in her
40s was opening my eyes after the alarm went off and determining in those first
seconds how I was going to get through the day. He proceeded to call me every morning
at 7:00.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was vexed to realize that I had somehow bought into the notion that I
didn’t have time, that I had more important things to do, that friends were not
a priority. If you tell yourself “it’s too hard”, that becomes reality. In other
words, I voluntarily closed myself off to one of the most enriching,
heart-filling, affirming parts of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My friend Andrea said it best: “friends, like sleep, are an essential
yet undervalued aspect of our existence.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And then my Dad got sick – fatally sick – and he didn’t have many
friends come by to see him. The end of his life forced me to more carefully
evaluate what I was doing with mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think every day about defying Stephen King. I try to be open to the delicate
serendipity of making new friends. I remind myself to embrace people for
exactly who they are and watch with wonder how they show up their way, not
mine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I also go out of my way to spend time with all the friends I made back
when it felt like love, back when I saw my best friend Carla’s big eyes in the
light of that window. Back when the two of us spent whole afternoons hanging
out on the couch laughing without it ever occurring to either of us it would
one day be necessary to make more elaborate plans. <span class="uficommentbody"><span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>452</o:Words>
<o:Characters>2580</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Ruder Finn</o:Company>
<o:Lines>21</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>3026</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-54534614095852398332015-07-29T09:45:00.001-07:002015-07-29T09:45:05.564-07:00Collective words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DWyuTZJvIFE/VbkC-lb_y3I/AAAAAAAABy8/a8NG2_QcLSY/s1600/lark-in-prayer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DWyuTZJvIFE/VbkC-lb_y3I/AAAAAAAABy8/a8NG2_QcLSY/s320/lark-in-prayer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19px;">In the hope that this delights you as much as it did me, I hereby inform you that the collective word for cats is an intrigue, a parade for elephants, a tower for giraffes, a thunder for hippopotamus and a conspiracy for lemurs. Also, a romp for otters, a crash for rhinoceroses and a murder for crows. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #141823; line-height: 19px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19px;">Now excuse me while I locate an exaltation of larks.</span></span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-34171060732026826462015-07-16T10:25:00.000-07:002015-07-16T10:25:55.219-07:00Kids.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S1M-yRaqJKM/VafpGXtrLUI/AAAAAAAAByo/WUneXuJamVQ/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S1M-yRaqJKM/VafpGXtrLUI/AAAAAAAAByo/WUneXuJamVQ/s1600/imgres.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">I got on the bus to find it filled to the brim with maybe thirty noisy, smelly, snotty, chatty seven year old kids. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">When we reached their stop the teacher asked "what do we say, children?" And they all replied in unison "THANK YOU BUS!"</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">It's barely the start of my day and I have already felt irritated, overwhelmed and delighted.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Kids. Tiny emotional roller coasters</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-44583620047852054352015-07-14T11:05:00.001-07:002015-07-14T13:46:50.185-07:00What does grief feel like?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qZ_4o3-zQ2s/VaVPb-oQBvI/AAAAAAAAByQ/i1U9A7a-EfE/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qZ_4o3-zQ2s/VaVPb-oQBvI/AAAAAAAAByQ/i1U9A7a-EfE/s1600/imgres.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Grief is personal.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You’ve probably read the 7 or 9 or whatever stages of grief
but the truth is each person grieves differently and the stages happen in no
particular order or not at all or all at once. When my dad died helpful people
asked me why on Earth I wasn’t crying. I didn’t cry at all, not a single tear,
for the first couple of weeks. After that I did, but never as much as would be
considered by the general population the “correct amount”. Rather than sitting
in a corner to sob what I wanted was to run. It was a fight; or a flight. It
didn’t feel like I had lost someone. It felt like I was in danger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The whole world is on
another planet far, far away from yours.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It felt like time had slowed way down for me. I would compare
it to being suspended under water, complete with muffled sounds, languid
movement and refracted light. But the rest of the world keeps moving, fast, and
the sheer frenzy of it exerts an unintended, relentless, exhausting pressure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My dad died December 15, 2014, and through a few weeks that
mostly felt unreal, everywhere I went cheery people would ask “how is your
holiday going?” “What are you doing for New Years?” “Are you enjoying your time
off?” and every time it caught me completely unprepared. It wiped me out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Simple things can be
hard.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had to go through and sort my father’s things, his house,
his clothes, his drawers and files. It might have been easier had we not felt like
plunderers, invaders transgressing on a privacy he always guarded with such
sacredness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People tell you “things
get better”.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You’d think this would bring someone solace. But here is the
catch: in a way, your feelings are part of what is left of the other person. As
such, you don’t want to get better. Not right away, anyway. Also, it feels like
feeling better too quickly would be an act of betrayal. So saying “things will
get better” can be an affront.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People say “don’t be
sad”. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t understand why we are so afraid of feelings. Happy
is OK, but sad has to be “addressed”. It must “move on”. It calls for a
“solution”. But sad is not a problem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m sad, and I’m not ready to not be sad. I am going to sit
here with my big bag of sad for as long as it wants to hang out with me. I
consider sad to be essential. It respects the truth within me, and as such, it
is beautiful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Of course I am not talking about clinical depression or a
grief that has stayed with a person for whatever length is no longer “normal”.
I am talking about natural feelings associated with losing someone you deeply
loved and wanting to sort through every one in your own way. For clinical
depression, talk to a doctor. I’m no doctor.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People say “cheer
up”. Or even “suck it up.”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know they mean well, but this feels like you are being slapped.
It’s a form of aggression. This sadness is mine, and you can’t touch it. So
back off. But thank you.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You feel (and this is
so horrible it hurts to write it) like you are going to forget the person that
you lost. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s so shocking for a person to be there and then to not be
there that it feels like everything they were will disappear. I fear I won’t
remember my father’s voice or the glint in his eye or his clean smell or his
soft white handkerchiefs or the way he put his foot up on something to tie his
shoelace or the frequently astounding things he used to say when I asked for his
opinion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>So what does a
grieving person want? For the whole world to grind to a halt?</b> Why, yes. We
want, in words of W.H. Auden, to “stop all the clocks.” We want “an airplane to
scribble on the sky the message He is Dead”. We want “the stars put out, the moon
packed up, the sun dismantled, the ocean poured away.” But we understand this
isn’t reasonable, so ask instead for patience as we very slowly step back out
into this new world that no longer includes a person who once determined its
shape. <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-79191113110057659222015-07-13T15:58:00.001-07:002015-08-06T17:11:58.146-07:00The truth.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dv7Ii832MBg/VaRCkH0AtLI/AAAAAAAABx8/wJW-vwERfEk/s1600/114084.p.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dv7Ii832MBg/VaRCkH0AtLI/AAAAAAAABx8/wJW-vwERfEk/s320/114084.p.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The day before he died, my Dad was bedridden, delirious, anxious.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What’s next? He’d ask. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why don’t you rest, and we will figure it out a bit later?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, he’d say. I'm so tired. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What’s next? He’d ask in a panic ten minutes later. What’s next?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why don’t you take a short nap and we will take it from there?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After hours of this, my brother came into the room.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's next?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's next, Pedro says, is that you are going to die.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My father, despite severe dementia, looked right at him and nodded.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even when it’s terrible, there is nothing like the truth.</span></div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-57895567000379815962015-07-12T11:28:00.001-07:002015-07-12T11:28:20.189-07:00Old<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NSxP_oxdwRQ/VaKxuMJHvmI/AAAAAAAABxs/orGRmSteNko/s1600/15_romantic_photos_05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NSxP_oxdwRQ/VaKxuMJHvmI/AAAAAAAABxs/orGRmSteNko/s320/15_romantic_photos_05.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Me: Life is so unpredictable. What do you think are the chances that we'll actually grow old together?</div>
<div style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Boyfriend: we're already old.</div>
<div style="color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-top: 6px;">
Boyfriend. Incontrovertibly logical.</div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-21917640229867594702015-07-09T21:06:00.001-07:002015-07-09T21:06:15.918-07:00Make up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EtpZcIEGzpo/VZ9EqA6w33I/AAAAAAAABxQ/HH19YnOYwAI/s1600/img-thing.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EtpZcIEGzpo/VZ9EqA6w33I/AAAAAAAABxQ/HH19YnOYwAI/s1600/img-thing.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Mom: I just saw your beautiful new Facebook profile photo. You need eye make-up.</span><br style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Me: Ick. I don’t like make-up.</span><br style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Mom: Just a touch. To heighten the eyes. </span><br style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Me: Ick.</span><br style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Mom: Just try it. And if you’re going to say no again, spare me.</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><br />Me: I don’t like the consistency.<br />Mom: I’m going to bed with my Kindle. Good Night!<br />Me: xoxo<br />Mom: Item. Do you remember my friend Constantina?<br />Me: Yes!<br />Mom: I just saw a photo of her. I couldn’t believe it. Shocking.<br />Me: What was shocking?<br />Mom: She looks so terrible.<br />Me: Why? She’s beautiful!<br />Mom: She's wearing no make up. Good night!</span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-62244107538300793962015-07-08T14:13:00.004-07:002015-07-08T14:13:40.754-07:00Instead of one<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qInF5gCGZfg/VZ2SbdwCWJI/AAAAAAAABw8/FCHryPkaFjE/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qInF5gCGZfg/VZ2SbdwCWJI/AAAAAAAABw8/FCHryPkaFjE/s1600/imgres.jpg" /></a></div>
<div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">
My sister in law calls the kids over. </div>
<div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">
"Guys! Uncle Andrew and Auntie Dushka are leaving! Come say goodbye!"<br />My nephew turns to look at me, forlorn. He shuffles over, head hanging.<br />"Auntie Dushka."<br />"Yes, sweetheart?"<br />"When you come next time, can you please bring me two gifts instead of one?"</div>
</div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-39943889254375131532015-07-02T11:02:00.003-07:002015-07-02T11:02:23.707-07:00Apparition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h3VF55iENc8/VZV8oi36gUI/AAAAAAAABwk/u3tcySLaUr4/s1600/10413395_10153419947693142_3002696174432156837_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h3VF55iENc8/VZV8oi36gUI/AAAAAAAABwk/u3tcySLaUr4/s320/10413395_10153419947693142_3002696174432156837_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
We knew Christmas 2013 would be his last. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br />I was walking in the garden and saw him through the window. Instead of heavy hearted he looked happy, surveying decorations and gifts. He caught me looking at him and waved. The reflection makes him look like an apparition.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-top: 6px;">
I remember you angry and sick and scared and frustrated but mostly I remember you like this. The glint in your eye and the tailor made clothes and that swell of love I feel come towards me as if you were still right here.</div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-72120136177032337092015-06-29T12:03:00.000-07:002015-06-29T14:29:16.511-07:00Do you remember?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sp1SPCViAog/VZGWSyg7EoI/AAAAAAAABwQ/N_G-_obwfzM/s1600/mangoes2-2-of-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sp1SPCViAog/VZGWSyg7EoI/AAAAAAAABwQ/N_G-_obwfzM/s320/mangoes2-2-of-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I could hold on to it. Yet I know 20 years from now this past weekend will come only in flashes. Do you remember the bright pink lining of my flower dress, the sweeping view from the rooftop party, the euphoric rainbow parade? Do you remember the unicorn trotting alongside the bare breasted girl, that picnic on the grass overlooking the ocean, my mango sticky rice popsicle? Do you remember that deal you made with the boy who is now 26?</span></span>Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257882700788109358.post-32531336082634269932015-06-26T14:42:00.000-07:002015-06-26T14:42:02.285-07:00Is Donald Trump Ignorant?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tIQL3sDKtAg/VY3G378BJRI/AAAAAAAABv8/EZpVTrq_VSY/s1600/Mexico.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tIQL3sDKtAg/VY3G378BJRI/AAAAAAAABv8/EZpVTrq_VSY/s320/Mexico.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m sure that by now you’ve heard what Donald Trump said
about Mexico and Mexicans:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“[Mexico] are sending people that have lots of problems,
and they are bringing those problems to us. They are bringing drugs, and bringing
crime, and their rapists.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He claimed he would build a “great, great wall” on the
Mexican-American border, and accused Mexico of “sending not the right people”
to the US.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A great great wall. Sending not the right people. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Naturally when I heard all this, I disregarded it. No one
takes Donald Trump seriously.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few of my friends told me that Trump running for
president would make the elections “more entertaining”. That by turning the
other way I was tragically “missing out”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His comments were called
“racist tinged”. (What? They were “racist immersed”.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I’m sure you’ve
deduced, I have gone from “uninterested” to increasingly uncomfortable with the
absurd notions he is leaving behind. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Donald Trump is a rich
man living in New York. The city he owns skyscrapers in runs in large part
thanks to invisible, undocumented people from Mexico. Chances are really high
that the toilets he has used have been cleaned by Mexican workers.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Did you know that Mexicans
who come into the United States are known for their work ethic? They start work
earlier, work harder, stay later and ask for more. They leave everything they
know – their country and family and everything familiar to them, including
their language and religion – to risk their lives in an effort to support
themselves and the people that they love.
<span style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t
call it “The American Dream”. Mexican workers take the jobs no one else would
take. (Example: the regular use of strong, toxic chemical cleaners to scrub
blood and feces off walls in meat packaging plants). They live in fear of being
deported and separated from their families. They work multiple jobs and still
can’t make ends meet. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
last thing they need is for someone with a presidential campaign platform to
turn them into criminals in our eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;">Have
you heard what Anthony Bourdain, the American Chef and television personality
has to say about Mexican workers? </span><i><span style="line-height: 115%;">“If you’re looking for a line cook who’s
professional in his work habits, responsible with your food, dependable, a guy
with a sense of humor, reasonably good character, and a repertoire of French
and Italian standards, and who can drill out 250 meals without going mental or
cutting corners too egregiously, chances are you’ll go to Carlos, your grill
man. And ask him for a recommendation. Carlos will have a cousin or a brother
for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“The bald fact is that the entire restaurant
industry in America would close down overnight, would never recover, if current
immigration laws were enforced quickly and thoroughly across the board.” <span style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;">Which
reminds me of the satirical movie<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">A Day without a Mexican,</span></i><span class="apple-converted-space"> in which the entire state of California
grinds to a halt without the labor of Mexican workers. In real life, other
regions (such as Arizona) have found themselves in situations comparable to
this when immigrant workers are “relocated”. </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span class="apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the
meantime, Donald Trump will continue to take for granted the shiny, clean
windows of his golden towers. The fruit and vegetables gracing his table. The
views of immaculately maintained golf courses.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I read people called
Donald Trump “ignorant”, which makes me want to paraphrase Morgan Freeman.
Please don’t call Donald Trump “ignorant”. It’s not that he doesn’t know. It’s
that he’s an asshole.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Dushkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14249097846441509115noreply@blogger.com2