You like an intruder left pieces of yourself in my heart a long time ago so many years later I still come across buried relics and dust them off whether they are pertinent or not to the world I live in even if I disagree with what they represent I still love them because it was you who left them there
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In silence I admonish my lack of courage you are so afraid of everything so small you don't know what you are doing this is the end of the line then you ask if I am happy if I know who I am I open my mouth to confess to let it out but find it impossible to say this aloud it would not ring true
There is a liar in me and I will beat her every morning
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I envy you your sleep smooth and innocent your breath heavy your legs jerking as you dream you play soccer my nights gutted hollowed out at best short spurts of me nodding off scattered jumps in the dark short ragged episodes of different nightmares that flap like a torn up flag eight hours marked by the rhythm of your sweet deep sighs your reassuring light satisfied snores I wake up worn down worn out to see you stretch to hear you say with swollen sleepy eyes you don’t think you rested all that well
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